Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Drinking games for kids' movies Pt. 2

If you're like me, you're about to go to your parents' house for the weekend, where all your really great VHS's are. If you need a break from the holidays, which is an excuse we're allowed to use to go drink in the basement now that we're adults, here are some drinking games.

  • Drink whenever mice are going up or down stairs. That's about a third of the movie right there.
  • Drink whenever Gus struggles with English.
  • Drink a white Russian or some other really rich thing when Gus drops all his corn and the cat almost gets him because he was too greedy and fat. Lucifee mean, Gus.
  • Drink if you wonder why the horse is turned into a driver and mice are turned into horses during the fairy godmother scene, since that just seems like more work and this girl is running late as it is.
  • Whenever the Duke struggles with or breaks his monocle, pour yourself a shot with one eye closed.
  • Yell "Dogs rule and cats drool!" and drink when that terrible cat dies. Good riddance. And then maybe consider watching Homeward Bound. There's a drinking game for that one, too.

The Sword and the Stone
  • Take a drink, right now, wherever you are, if you remember this movie. Good for you. In fact, all or at least most of this movie is on youtube, so you could play right now.
  • Shotgun a few right at the beginning so when Merlin gets his beard caught in his wand that it is just as funny as when you were eight.
  • Drink whenever they turn into animals for the sake of Arthur's education.
  • Drink whenever Arthur just stands there like a slack-jawed idiot.
  • Drink whenever Arthur is clearly now being voiced by a different child actor.
  • Treat yourself to a shot and pat yourself on the back whenever you notice action sequences that are recycled from 101 Dalmatians or were reused in The Jungle Book. For real. Disney was cheap for a while.

Peter Pan
  • Drink when this movie gets racist. Brace yourself, this is going to come at you a lot.
  • Dump an appletini down the sink and shotgun a beer (or the other way around, I guess) whenever characters are confined to traditional gender roles.
  • Drink someone else's drink whenever it feels like someone is being cheated on, even if they are a child and/or fairy.
  • Whenever Tock shows up, the first person to hear him should start Nose Goes, and the loser takes a shot of rum.
  • Just for the hell of it, chant "Ru-fi-o, Ru-fi-o!" a lot. Why not.

 Sleeping Beauty
  • Drink whenever...I don't know...there's singing? What the hell happens in this movie? 
  • I think there's a dragon, drink when there's a dragon.
  • Drink at the end when the bickering fairies are fighting and turning her dress pink and then blue and back and forth because that is the best part of the whole movie. And apparently the only part I remember.

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