Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You didn't know you were pregnant? Well, you're an idiot.

I don't watch all that much TV. So it wasn't until pretty recently that I heard about the reality TV show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." I've only seen this one webisode, so I can't fairly judge this show and the women on it, but I think it's my duty as a person who posts on a blog to judge it anyway. So I'll go ahead and make a call right now: these people are idiots.

I mean, what happened to you? Did you forget you've never had a hysterectomy? Did you forget you're female? Were you just unaware that pregnancy is caused by sperm getting up in your peesh?

I guess that's mean. And again, it's not fair for me to really judge these people. Because I haven't watched this show and because I've never been pregnant without knowing it. Or at all, much. So yeah, sure, maybe you could crave bacon ice cream and vomit every morning and feel something kicking inside you every once in a while and never really give it a second thought. But that seems a little bizarre.

Maybe I just can't understand where they're coming from. Personally, I start to freak out if my period is 12 hours late. I start to sweat bullets at one day late. And I buy a half-dozen boxes of pregnancy tests at two days and test myself every time I have to go to the bathroom until Mother Nature lets me know that the ol' uterine lining hasn't become a nuturing and optimal environment for an implanting blastocyst. So I can't fathom going a whole nine months without ever wondering what's keeping Aunt Flo. I suppose a lot of these women have an irregular period. I can't say I understand this either. If I was that irregular I'd keep my medicine cabinet stocked full of pregnancy tests the same way a diabetic would keep a steady supply of blood sugar tests around.

So I'll give a few of these women the benefit of the doubt. Maybe some of them have some kind of medical condition that caused a lot of stomach pain so they didn't notice. Or maybe they have overly-hormonal urine that stymies pregnancy tests. Or maybe they're just really really busy.

Or, more likely, they stupid.

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