Monday, July 12, 2010

A Really Funny Article

Hello again, my little InsuFarelets. It's been about two weeks since we've had our little Monday morning chats, and the fault is all mine. See, personal issues have prevented me from delivering you all the piping fresh comedy you've come to expect at the workweek's beginning. But I've handled all that business, so let's get back to it.

Today I'd like to talk about something really funny.

Hold on, I'll think of something.

Uh...

Oh, here we go! Has this ever happened to you: you wake up in the morning and go to the bathroom to take a shower, but there's some sort of soap or something on the floor and you're sliding around and not really certain what to do, because it's actually not your house, and then all of a sudden here comes a girl in her underwear carrying a mop and she's going to clean it up and it's awkward because you don't know who she is, and it's actually just kind of worrying because you're subletting a room in the house for two weeks and this is a pretty awkward way to first meet her, assuming she isn't the underwear-clad maid? Pretty funny, right?

No?

Okay, what about this one: You're going to see an apartment with your future roommates because your lease ended and you've been pretty homeless for a while, and you get to the apartment and it's really nice, and all three of you are like "cool, let's do this thing" and dividing up bedrooms and figuring out rent and then you think to ask if pets are allowed and the landlord's agent says "none at all" and then you have to leave and you feel like a dick because it's your cat that fucked it up? That's a spicy comedy meatball, am I right?

Christ, you people are hard to please.

Okay, last shot. Uh... Have you ever seen a white person dance? Not like a waltz or some ballet or some stupid shit, but I mean, trying to move it at a club? I mean, come on! Dude looks like the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz. DJ gets on the mic, asking if anyone has an oil can... "Yeah, uh, we got some rusted white boy in the middle of the floor. Could his owner or operator come and perform some maintenance?" Call him OxyClean cuz he so oxidized. Somebody tries to move him, DJ gets back on the mic, tells him that you need to be in the union to deal with that machine.

Thanks everyone, and I'll see you in a week!

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