Monday, May 24, 2010

GOLD 4 GRANDPARENTS!

HEY THERE ALL YOU RED BLOODED AMERICANS  
if you're an illegal please close this right now and then report over to the nearest Deportation Station

As we all know, Barack So-Damn-Insane Nobama is currently in the process of sucking our nation dry with the help of his lackeys, the Democrat Party!!! (boo and hiss at your Computer Screen now) And as we all also know, when the "fail-out" package's bill comes knocking it's going to completely destroy the value of our American Dollars.

Do you have a plan for this? How do you expect to buy your family protection when the New World Order comes knocking on your door? They won't take your Ameros, comrade! No, there's only one solution...

GOLD 4 GRANDPARENTS!!!

That's right, here at GOLD 4 GRANDPARENTS (it always has to be in all caps because REAL AMERICANS don't use inside voices), we're willing to help your elderly make one final sacrifice for their generation. They already flew over to Europe and punched Hitler and his Nazi Socialists (Hmmm... there's that word again, Mr. Obomba.... pretty suspicious) right in their European faces. Save the horrible torture of a DEATH PANEL by trading them in for GOLD today.

How Does It Work?
Simple! Just give us a call on our super patriotic toll free line: 1-800-704-1776. We'll ask you some questions about your grandma or grandpa (military service? highest salary ever paid? minority blood? voting record? birthing hips?), give you an estimate, and then send over our World Class "Grandpappy" Shipping Crate. Simply load up the elderly person (make sure to leave them food, water, and breathing holes) and send it back to us! We pay all the shipping, you get all the profit!!!

But how do I get my gold?
Once your grandparent has arrived at our Top Secret Judging Facility (we keep it very well hidden so the Federal Government can't infringe on our right to not pay taxes), an expert Life Panel will evaluate them based on the information already provided. Once we've completed the process, an expert GOLD 4 GRANDPARENTS agent will drive to your home and deliver the gold into your hands. Trust nobody but us - all others are working for Mr. Barry "President Barack Hussein Obama" Sotero.

What do you do with my grandparent?
Sorry, but the invisible hand of the free market dictates that we don't have to tell you about that!

But, I mean, this doesn't seem like a great business strategy on the surface. What are you honestly doing with all these grandparents?
Look out, I think we've got a Liberal Plant here. Go back to the Huffington Post, you chickenshit city boy. GOLD 4 GRANDPARENTS is providing a service to the hardworking conservative men and women of this once-proud nation, which will rise again. That service is taking their grandparents away and leaving gold.



CALL GOLD 4 GRANDPARENTS TODAY
1-800-704-1776
GOD BLESS AMERICA, GOD DAMN TERRORISTS

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